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I have been doing quite a bit of self-reflection lately. One of the things that I notice is that I have a pattern of getting caught up in a certain cycle of fear and overwhelm in my life.

Fear is a funny thing. As I examine my experience of fear, I realize how it can drive me under the surface, almost as if my mind is hijacked by it. For example, when I think about my role as a father, first and foremost, I realize how little I really know about being a father. On the surface, all of my thoughts are about my daughter Chloe’s wellbeing, yet lurking under the surface is my fear of not being good enough as a dad.

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During the initial shock of my marriage failing, I found myself without an identity. While I was married my role was clear — I worked to support our family. My focus was very much on doing the things that would support our family. I didn’t have a whole lot of dad duties.

Now everything was different. The family I once knew was gone. I faced the challenge of recreating me in every way. And the life that had gotten me here was not serving this new paradigm I found myself in. Thanks to the guidance of my coach, I realized it was time for a do-over.

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Amongst the anger, sadness and upset surrounding my eminent divorce was this sensation of heartbreak — all wrapped in a blanket of fear. So many feeling and emotions were swirling through my body and mind at all times. And up until this point, I had not thought much about what the impact may be on my daughter, Chloe. 

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