What To Do When You Really Want To Quit
Here we are almost in March. How is your year going? Are you making progress on those goals you set in the beginning of 2019?
If you are — awesome. Keep up the good work! And if you’ve stalled, lost steam or haven’t made any progress at all, let me tell you two things:
You’re not alone.
Don’t give up now!
I’ve seen this with many people — friends, family, clients, and myself: we set an intention, take action and start working toward our goal, and then all of a sudden something happens to halt our progress. Life gets hard, competing priorities come up, we get tired, etc. The reality of the daily work it takes to keep progressing toward the goal sets in. And it makes us think it’s time to quit.
What’s Really Behind the Urge to Quit?
What I’ve realized is that beyond our everyday life obstacles, the urge to quit actually runs even deeper. And it’s something that doesn’t get talked about much. Your inability to accomplish what you want goes back to the years of training and conditioning you have experienced — years of saying no to yourself and yes to the norms of society.
From a very young age, so many of us have been told to “be good” or “do the right thing”. We have been training ourselves and our children that there is a right and wrong way to do things. This limiting belief is so deeply engrained in our being that the result is often saying “NO” to ourselves. Denying ourselves the lives we really want.
Having a mindset of having to be good or feeling like you have to do the right thing, in its very nature, limits all possibility. If you are doing it “right” this means there is only one way to do things. Any deviation from the normal is the “WRONG THING”.
Why Do So Many of Us Succumb to the Urge to Quit?
Because what we really want in our lives requires big change.
Here’s a question to ponder: Is your new years resolution or goal in opposition to the “right things” you’ve done in the past?
It’s likely that how you’ve operated in your life so far is very different than the new behaviors, thoughts, and feelings you need to adopt to truly get what you want. And the pull to keep you conforming to your old mindset is strong.
As you move toward your goal, it feels really hard because in addition to taking action every day, it also requires significant change on all levels of your being. And because this feels so difficult, we quit. And the sad reality is many people have lived with these patterns of quitting for years. Years!
There is some good news here and that is this ingrained way of being is not a life sentence. It is something that can be unlearned and a fuller richer life is possible for you.
How To Get Back On Track
If you’ve fallen off course and find yourself in jeopardy of giving up on your goal, how do you get back on track? Here are a few suggestions:
Allow yourself to be frustrated and even to complain if you need to. I’ve noticed this helps me. If I can complain about doing something, it allows me to let off a little steam. It doesn’t mean I’m not going to do what I’m complaining about. It does allow me to express a little frustration and then move on.
Acknowledge the real deep change required of you to reach your goal. What old programming do you need to shed in order to get what you really want? Is there a limiting belief operating in the background? If so, name it.
Remember WHY you set this goal in the first place. What’s the bigger, deeper reason you want to make this change? This is something I make a point to remind my clients of regularly. Connecting with your deeper reason for setting the goal will connect you with what really matters and help you keep your energy high.
Stop trying to do it all on your own and get some support. There are many ups and downs on the path to reaching a goal. It won’t all be smooth sailing like we wish it would be. If you have never experienced what it’s like to have support on working toward your goals, let me just say it can make all the difference.
Are ready to make 2019 the most impactful year of your life? I am here and ready to start when you are. What are you waiting for? Click here to sign up for a free Possibilities Conversation with me. During our 30 minute call we’ll talk about your goals and what’s getting in the way for you. Let me support you and help you move through that urge you’re feeling to give up. You can do it!